carbonite:

it’s like my ugliness is constantly increasing by 15.78%

30,258 notes

funoftheday:

Well, that’s a unique fetish…

funoftheday:

Well, that’s a unique fetish…

2 notes

robertoluongo:

in grade 8 i did a power point presentation on “whooping cough” and my opening slide was a photo of whoopi goldberg coughing and i was the only person who laughed at it and i couldnt start the presentation for like five minutes because i was laughing too hard at my own joke

544,450 notes

wolfbruh:

so thats what its called

wolfbruh:

so thats what its called

(Source: danbutt)

60,898 notes

bigrnac:

“everyone has their off days” I tell myself 15 days in a row

(Source: ouijasquiji)

885,731 notes

assgod:

a disney movie where the prince eats ass

(Source: assgod)

88,467 notes

heartrate:

i found my journalinstagram @haydenwc2013, july;"final entry,she is home.”2014, january;"i ripped these poems out as rough as you ripped me from your life, i fucking hate how you keep the stars glowing and the oxygen flowing, i did it without even flinching don’t you dare tell me you never felt anything, don’t you fucking dare, i loved you more than the sea loved the shore and you tore me away like a gorgeous fucking drought."

heartrate:

i found my journal
instagram @haydenwc

2013, july;
"final entry,
she is home.”

2014, january;
"i ripped these poems out as rough as you ripped me from your life, i fucking hate how you keep the stars glowing and the oxygen flowing, i did it without even flinching don’t you dare tell me you never felt anything, don’t you fucking dare, i loved you more than the sea loved the shore and you tore me away like a gorgeous fucking drought."

109,079 notes

fartgallery:

alright it has come to my attention that some of you think i am a big nerd. this is egregious and so i am here to lay down the facts:

  1. i am actually very cool
  2. i own a pair of aviator sunglasses
  3. 3. nerds do not own aviator sunglasses
  4. my roommate has a basketball & i touched it earlier
  5.   ,

19,102 notes

thebatteur:

once in kindergarten a girl asked me to write “super girl” on her arm since i was the only kid who could write so i wrote “shit” on her arm and i hid under the table for like 30 minutes then the teacher found me and yelled at me then called my parents and my dad laughed so hard he cried

483,278 notes